WNYU Interview

April 30, 1986

WNYU Interview



Okay, well, let's fire away John. Let's get ripping on this one.

Are you weird?
Uh...[laughs]

Let's skip over that one. Tell me about your drugs.
My drugs are few and far between, actually. I'm not a great drug-taker. I drink a lot of alcohol and Perrier water and stuff like that. Coffee, I have quite a lot of with -- what's the other drug? -- tobacco. I smoke cigarettes. I've been smoking a lot on tour. So, really, I'm unhealthy at the moment. I've had too many cigarettes, far too much booze, a lot of coffee, and not enough fruit. And I'm sorry to admit this. But I hope I'll be getting back into shape when I get back to England, and cut back down on everything except the fruit. You know, god didn't...if god head meant for us to have cigarettes in our mouths he'd have given us little mouths with columns jutting out which you could insert the cigarette into directly. Which he hasn't appeared to. So, I don't endorse any of these drugs at all. But inevitably you end up...stuff goes through your system in this kind of lifestyle.

Oh. Tell me about the song "Tell Me About Your Drugs".
Oh, "Tell Me About Your Drugs", the song!

Yeah.
Well, I was walking through...I was walking over a flat area, and it was the middle of winter, and there were lots of dead things on the ground. And I was going over an area of flat paving stones, and I was vibrating internally -- as is my wont -- because I'd just had a cup of coffee (believe it or not). And I thought, "Oh yes, 'Tell Me About Your Drugs', that would be a good song to write." So I whipped back inside, and I wrote down the song "Tell Me About Your Drugs" in about three minutes. I picked up the guitar later that day and sang it, and then recorded it on a portable multi-track machine, played it to the band, and we played it live. It's a song very little thought has gone into. I'm hardly aware of having written it. Do you want to know what it's about, or something? You look like you ate a biscuit with a bone in it (or something).

If you have something.
The song is about...phew, John, that's a tough cookie. I don't know. Now you've asked me, I'm wondering what it's about. It seems to me that the words are about people who just wish they were somebody else all the time. They're insecure. They feel inadequate in their own lifestyle. They want to be someone else. Basically, the drugs in question are about other people, you know? They want to idolize somebody because they just can't face existing in their own right. They don't feel that they're worthy, so they get manipulated by the machinery into looking up to somebody and wanting to be them. And also, they can't stand themselves, so maybe they've got to have coke and booze and fags, and all the other things you have out of insecurity. Thanks for asking me. I've got to the bottom of that one.

Cleansed your soul. You say you recorded it on a 4-track machine. Is it going to come out on an album? I heard you talking about Invisible Hitchcock....
I don't know. Do you think we should put it out on an album?

I like the song. Of all the new songs, I like that one the best.
Ah. That's probably because it's the simplest.

Perhaps I'm a simpleton.
You've probably only got basic tastes. Well, I don't know if I'm actually deducing, per se, that you're a simpleton because you have basic tastes. You might be an extremely complex and sophisticated intellect who nevertheless takes pleasure in small, simple, uncomplicated things. I think I'm hitting the nail there, aren't I?

That's very true, yeah.
Yup, yup. If we make another record...when we make another record, I'm sure it'll turn up...or it'll be recorded, or something.

What is the next record? You said it's coming out in June!
Oh no, no! I've got sphetti on meself again. That's awful. I get this stuff all over me.

Where does it come from?
Sphetti? It comes from the fact that I've got very long legs, and I push myself back from the table when I eat. And I look down, and I say, "Oh no, I've got sphetti on me again!" I mean, I've got toothpaste...this cream from bagels...I've hardly eaten anything today, but I've got a great pile of it on this leg. It's always on this one as well. Very uncharismatic!

Cross legs!
I bet Lennon didn't get sphetti on himself.

Or Syd Barrett.
I don't know if Syd...I should think Syd Barrett is really covered in sphetti. He's probably a really messy eater. He probably sits there stuffing his face, and it falls on the floor, and he puts his trousers on inside out, and bursts into tears.

Somebody stuffs his face for him. Somebody feeds him, right?
No. I think Syd can still feed himself. I don't think he's lost that attribute. What I gather...he's just an aural waste now, you know? He exists simply to put things into his mouth. But you could say that's refined, you know? Like you having simple tastes. A complex and sophisticated machine like that can exist simply to stuff its face. What were we talking about? You asked a question.

I remember something about a new record.
Let's not deviate. Let's not deviate. A new record...oh well, yeah, we'd love to make a new record. And as soon as I've written enough stuff for them to do it, we will. I've got a lot of acoustic stuff at the moment, and I'm half-tempted to do another acoustic album. Peter Buck is offering his services as producer in that. I can stay at his house and go around the corner to a cheap studio. But I have to go down to Athens which, as you know, is an awfully long way from where I live. I could do an acoustic album with Peter and an electric album with the band, but there's all this old stuff coming out. What's coming out in June is a bunch of...basically, any old outtakes in the past five years. Stuff from Black Snake Diamond Role, things I've done in various hideaways in the countryside on, sort of, small, portable desks; or whatever cool things I've done under somebody's bed, in a hurricane. And it features such goodies as "Star Of Hairs", "All I Wanna Do Is Fall In Love", "Trash", "My Favourite Buildings", a remix of "It's A Mystic Trip" (which was on a flexi-disc), "A Skull, A Suitcase, And A Long Red Bottle Of Wine", "My Vegetable Friend"; and things like that. All things that I've never performed live. But if I didn't put it out, eventually the tapes would get out, and it would be bootlegged. So I'm simply pre-empting the bootleggers by putting the stuff out. But it's strictly for the fans, you know? I don't think it'll interest anyone else.

It seems like every week or every other week for the past couple of months, you walk into a record store and there's some new Robyn Hitchcock outtake/import. It's like KISS in the '70s.
[laughs] You think we're saturating the market?

I think so, yeah. Where are all these records coming from?
Um...you mean all that stuff?

I guess.
Well, they're all people's bright ideas, basically, not mine. Someone says, "Why don't we do a 12"? It'll go down well in Japan." So out it comes. And, "Will you do the cover art?" "Yes." "Have you got any old photos?" "Sure." "Do we get any money?" "No. What's going on the record?" "The same old stuff." I'm a bit out of control over this, but we definitely won't be releasing anything...anything that...you know?

"Happy The Golden Prince".
Oh yeah.

Where did it come from?
Um...oh, I wrote that in 1980. I was playing the guitar in a basement, and I thought of Happy the Golden Prince as a, sort of, Chinese lad wandering through the paddy fields. But I went away and wrote it up, and in fact it turned out to be about a penis (which is completely different). And then we had that chant at the end. That was originally gonna go on Black Snake Diamond Role. But I've got other stuff from that same session which fortunately hasn't got any lewd or erotic content in it, and that's being released.

Why did you decide to put it out as a flexi-disc? Did those people just ask you, "Do you have anything?"?
Bucketful Of Brains wanted a flexi. Richard over there said, "Give 'em 'Happy The Golden Prince', and we did. And the rest is history. Nothing to do with me, mate. I've no ideas. Was it your idea, the picture disc?

Roger: Quite possibly. [Note: Roger is the road manager, and also appears on Black Snake Diamond Role.]
There you are. Now, there's a person who knows why all these things are coming out. "Brenda's Iron Sledge" being released was the idea of our publicist (or something like that).

Oh, what happens in the "Pit Of Souls"? What is the "Pit Of Souls"?
"Pit Of Souls"...um, there's another version of that coming out on Invisible Hitchcock as well (as if one wasn't enough). The original "Pit"...I'll play you a tape of it. The "Pit Of Souls" was originally conceived when I was hibernating from the music world (as has been extensively documented lately). Me and some friends rented a portable 8-track to, sort of, teach ourselves a bit about recording and mixing and stuff. 'course one of them lived in a barn in Sussex. And we installed the stuff, and to test it we had a congo player who was playing -- just to see how it worked. They got the congo player to play some stuff. And then I played a bass riff over it, which seemed to work quite well. And then we put a few other things on it. And then I tried to repeat the whole thing in London, with the same congo player (who couldn't remember what he'd done). And I got Andy and Morris to play a bit on it, and I stuck on some extra parts that I'd made up. Basically, it's a soundtrack without a film. So if anyone needs a soundtrack for a film, that's there waiting.

What would the film be about? The plot-line?
The plot-line? Oh! The Pit of Souls? Well, I think you'd have two old people who live in a Jeep on a beach, and they go driving up and down the beach trying to run over fruit, and objects that are placed in the path of the vehicle. One day they drive into the sea, and as inevitably happens when you drive into the sea, the thing...the engine gets full of water. And these sharks come in, closer and closer to the old people. And the old people are very philosophical about this. They realize that either they're going to drown -- be eaten by sharks -- or they can just wise up and just walk out of the water. But they're also very indecisive, so we leave them there trying to make up their...and with you...what's going to happen to them? But in the meanwhile, inside a volcano which has erupted some 3,000 years before (and is slowly filling with Rice Krispies), there is a man named Joan, who is standing there blowing bubbles through a little plastic brass ring. And a helicopter comes overhead with the entire cast of Miami Vice on it, and they're all scratching their armpits, and sneezing. And he blows bubbles up, and one of the bubbles envelopes the helicopter, and the whole thing is sucked down into the volcano, under the Rice Krispies, into the very umbilical center of the earth itself. Earth -- as you know -- has a weird digestion. It's the only planet with so-called "intelligent" life, and therefore it has a digestive system which isn't like the others. It has eruptions occasionally. The helicopter with the Miami Vice people is sucked right down to the center of the earth. Meanwhile, back on the beach, the sharks are closing in on the old folks. Just then there's a tremendous underwater hiccup, and the bubble comes up just offshore. Just where the sharks are closing in. And the Jeep is there. And out it comes, and the helicopter goes blurp, right out of the sea. And there's the helicopter with the entire cast of Miami Vice heading straight for the old couple who are either about to face the sharks, oblivion, or the beach. And the old couple still can't make up their minds about what to do. Oh...and then I'll leave you to work out what happens from there.

You know, it's amazing. I've listened to that song a lot, and that's exactly what I thought. You know...the bubble.
Yeah, yeah. It's funny how you can make things really obvious without ever using words.

So usually, when a performer would release a soundtrack, that would be the pinnacle of his artistic career. Do you feel that way about "The Pit Of Souls"?
[laughs] No. It was just more from the period when I couldn't think up any lyrics, so I just thought I'd just shove out music. Actually, I just hated the sound of my own voice (unusually) for a while, and I just wanted to do that kind of thing. No, it's not a pinnacle. I'm really surprised anybody bought it, actually. I shouldn't say that. But I'm surprised anyone noticed it. But there's something about the B-sides of 12"s that attracts people's attention. The more you put something out of the way...you think, "No one's ever gonna notice this," they all come whizzing in and they hone in on it. If you made it the first track on an album, they probably wouldn't see it. It's an art. If you really want to get publicity, you've got to be as obscure and devious as possible.

Like a cult thing.
Like a cult. I mean, look at the attention Syd Barrett attracts from not doing anything at all. He's got a fanatical following. Hasn't done a thing for 15 years. So I think there's a lot to be said for not overdoing it, basically. The idea of playing 60 dates and rocking and rolling through the city on a triumphant arch covered with flowers (like Motorhead do), and, sort of, sacrificing rams, and all the rest of it...I think is off.

So you don't like sacrificing rams?
No, I don't. Do you find that?

By the same way you're always coming around to play: touring around, the triumphant tour bus...
You mean, I'm overexposing myself here?

I wouldn't go that far.
Well, New York is an odd thing, because we do play in New York more than anywhere else in the world. If you want to see us, New York is the place. Statistically, we'll be here to play within the next three months. Yes, New York. But I think the rest of the world, we don't appear too often. And New York I'm going to try and cut down on -- but I'm sure we'll be back another couple of times this year.

Last time we spoke, you were embarked on a British tour. How'd that go?
Oh, down south. But up north, it just doesn't work. We don't mean anything up north in England. We'd probably mean more in Omaha, Nebraksa (or wherever it is) than we would in Leeds. I mean, we mean more in Champaigne, Illinois than in Manchester. London and the south is great. It's a funny thing: it's quite a divided country. And the problem is, when they send you on tour, they always send you to the north of England for some reason. Not Scotland, which is quite good, but the north. "Up north," what we say. And it's, like, zilchville there. And I refuse to go to Europe at all, because I have to keep coming here. They send us here a lot, you know?

Who is "they"? This invisible hand ruling your life?
I don't know, I don't know. It's some guy we never meet, but is always giving orders to Richard, the manager; and Paul, the agent (and stuff like that). I don't really know who's behind this.

It's kind of like a Charlie's Angels thing.
They've all got haridos, haven't they? Well, put it another way: have you ever seen god?

I haven't. But have you?
No. But it's luminous and impossible to grasp as the presence of the almighty. But there is some bloke up there who is sending us 'round the place. And I've no idea why, but he is sending us overseas, and he's gonna send us over here in June, I think.

So are you saying that god books Robyn Hitchcock at Irving Plaza?
[laughs] That's a really good point. I don't dare anwer that. No, no, he doesn't book us. We're booked by Frank Riley of Venture Booking.

So Frank Riley is god?
No. Frank...someone even higher than Frank Riley, who's in charge of things, who's guiding our destiny. But I don't know who it is. He never talked to me. He talks to Frank, he talks to Richard, but I never met him. I don't know what his interest in me is, but he's just, sort of, sliding me around like letters on a ouija board.

Oh. What would you guess that his interest in you might be?
Probably botanical. He probably would like to know whether I've got any leaves. I mean, I used to tell a joke that ended, "...because it hasn't got any leaves." And I can't remember what the actual joke was, but it was a good joke. It's something like...not, "...why is the moon white?" But I mean, you've interest in plants, haven't you?

Very much so!
Have you got any new plants?

No.
Did...when you split with Ashley, did you go out and buy some plants. Or did you not notice that you had split with her?

I didn't buy any plants!
Well, I find after a severe emotional upheaval has taken place, the answer is to buy some kind of foliage.

Is there a plant you could recommend? Your favorite?
Cheese plants. You can't go wrong with that. They're a bit laurel, but they survive in appalling conditions. We've got one in the bathroom at home, and it's now...actually juts right over the bath. So when you lie there, you're getting this stuff growing over you.

"Cheese Plants"?
It's called a "Cheese Plant". Yeah, they've got...let me draw it for you. They've got, sort of, "spade" in a suit of cards..."Jacks" and "Aces" and "spades", and things. Bit like a "spade" shape. But it's green and shiny, and you have to get the dust off them. You have to brush them with a duster.

Is it edible?
No, god no! It doesn't smell cheesy. I don't know why they're called "Cheese Plants". I don't know why Laurel Levine is called "Laurel Levine". They're all exceptionally interesting things.

I find cheese plants more interesting than Laurel Levine.
Well, you can't put Laurel Levine in a bathroom. I don't know if you could plant Laurel Levine.

Who is she?
Laurel Levine took this photograph in the summer. She's got a studio down in SoHo. Houston...or is it Broome? Down on Broome.

Right where I live.
Well, you probably live in the same apartment. New York's a very crowded place.

Could very well be.
Well, she's got a large one-bedroom apartment with a little bathroom in it, and a...it's got a large, sort of, studio area. She's got an assistant called "Robin", who wears a feather necklace. And she's got knees that bend backwards, sort of. She's, sort of, double-jointed. So when she walks around, it's the reverse of the way our knees bend. They go "whump, whump", like that. And...oh dear, there's an exhalation of air coming from the chair! Anyway, they're fine. They've got some costumes, and they sweep down off the rough onto Broome on creepers. Like Tarzan, you know? Swaying through. they go swaying from creeper to creeper, and they've got capes, and stuff like that. And they take photographs of people.

Surpised I've never seen them!
"Get 'em, Robin", she says, and Robin does. Laurel's the boss. I haven't seen her lately. Was she there last night?
Roger: I didn't see her, no.
Yeah, so that's the kind of thing.

I know what you mean. Why don't we go on to this one: Groovy Decoy?
Groovy Decoy. Right. Well, I made an album called Groovy Decay about four years ago...five years ago, now. Wasn't satisfactory, but we did do. The demos of it it we actually thought were better than the record itself. When the opportunity to re-release it came up...in fact, Richard's got the rights to it, 'cause he paid for that one. When the opportunity to re-release it came up, we thought, "Let's put the demos out instead of the originals, and keep the ones that weren't demo-ed." So there's four from the Hillage album, that Hillage produced. And the rest of them are produced by Matthew Seligman -- who was in The Soft Boys, and who was also working on the project before he got ambushed by the Thompson Twins. And I think it's a bit better now than it was. It's one of those records, like Can Of Bees by The Soft Boys, that I've always been tampering with because I was never really happy with it. It's like trying to re-write an embarrasing moment in your...and...you know, like if you were 16, and you aimed for a girl and missed. You know, you might mentally re-write it so you succeeded. Or, you know, she swooned over you and gone, "Oh foxy, give me your rubber things," instead of saying, "Beat it kid, you are dirt." And it's rather the same with me with Can Of Bees and stuff. I'm forever trying. And Groovy Decoy.

I really like the Can Of Bees record.
Yeah, but there's three versions of it. The original one had a white back. Then it came out yellow, then it came out pink. Next year it's coming out green. And Side 1 is always the same, but Side 2 has changed a bit.

I've got an orange one.
The back orange? Oh god, that's not coming out until 1989! [laughs] You've got to tell me what's on it.

All this wild Bluegrass stuff.
Bluegrass. Yeah, that's right. Buck Owens. There's a version that's got Bluegrass fiddle on "Leppo And The Jooves". I'm not quite sure. I think it's the yellow one that's got it, the Bluegrass fiddle players. But we didn't have him on the first and the last. I've never listened to it anyway! It's an angry little record.

You don't listen to any of your records?
Sometimes I listen to them. But I haven't got a record player.

I would think that would be essential in your business.
What, having a record player? I'm not very interested in music, so it doesn't bother me. I've got a tape machine, so if I record a song I can hear it back before it's cut. And I can listen to my Bryan Ferry tapes (and things like that). But I haven't got a record player, as said, at all. The kids listen to music sometimes.

What do they listen to?
Good question. On the tape machine, or they go and find a record player and listen to 'em there. But I don't...

But are they listening to Madonna? Motley Crue? Prince?
Not Motely Crue. But that reminds me: I've got to get Maisie a Madonna tape before I go home. It's the first album. The one with "Borderline" on it. For some reason, she thinks you can't get it in England. Any place I can go and get a feisty discount?

Tower's the cheapest around.
Oh. Well, I've got to get a Madonna tape. Jack likes Queen. I think it's probably because they're all graduates, and their stuff is so intricate and clever he finds it satisfying.

Do you like Queen? Freddie Mercury?
Oh yeah, yeah. I saw them...thought they were great on Live Aid. I really like him. I thought he was the best thing on that. Bowie was, sort of, beautiful and heroic (like he always is). I can't wait for him to get old and see his face crack.

Don't you think he already has?
No. He's matured but he's not...actually, Matthew Seligman was on Live Aid, and he said Bowie was very nice to work with. But then, Bowie probably hasn't got too much to worry about these days (apart from time grinding his face up). But, what was that lurching about David Bowie from? Oh yeah, Queen. I thought Freddie Mercury was great. I liked that when he turned the microphone upside-down, jutting out phallically, and everything. They're so over-the-top. I think the guitarist is a bit of a wally. He does all that, sort of, "Hey hey, boy." It's 'cause in Britain, there's only one Rock show, and all it ever does is show a video of Queen -- made in 1978 at the Hammersmith Odeon -- with that guitarist doing a ten-minute solo in a nice pair of flares, little-knowing that in two years it was all to become obsolete. And so, what they do is, they have this Rock show (it's run by some friends of mine, actually). But they keep showing the same thing -- which is Queen at the Hammersmith Odeon. Last year they had the Rain Parade as well, I think. But that didn't go so well, so they just went back to showing Queen.

British TV is reaching an artistic peak?
[laughs] Well, British TV...did you see any of it when you were over there?

A-Team.
Right. Our soundman's brother writes The A-Team. He's from Georgia. British TV doesn't have as many commercials. Your television is very peppered with commercials. It also doesn't say over here when the film is topped and the commercial's coming in, which is more surreal. I really like HBO, but MTV is terrifying. You just get the bloody Thompson Twins every 15 minutes. I think they showed me once, but I don't know. Can we get MTV in here?

Yup. Channel 20. Didn't Captain Sensible do a commcercial for British TV?
Yes. He did a commercial for Wheatabix with his aunt Saddie, who's actually real. I spoke to her on the phone once. He sits there...she said, "Who are you?" I said, "Robyn Hitchcock," and she burst out laughing. I don't know why. She'd never met me. But the Captain does all that suff, yeah.

Have you kept up with him recently?
Yeah. Actually, I've got a tape of some backing tracks I could let you have. It's also got some outtakes from future projects, which you might enjoy listening to. [Note: The tape is titled Sensible Outware.]

So are you involved with some projects?
Well, I would be. But I'm over here, you see? And he rang up and wanted some lyrics. He hadn't written any lyrics for it. They hadn't written any lyrics at all for the next record. But I'm sure they'll have written them by the time I de-jetlag at the other end.

How long have you been over here for?
Three weeks, I think.

Have you a grasp on America? A concept?
Um...more this time how different everything is, and how hard it is to see America as a unified thing despite McDonald's everywhere, and pictures of Ronald Reagan at every available opportunity. I mean, I always thought Americans were more enthusiastic -- and more gullible -- than the English. And I thought that years ago, and in a way I haven't changed my ideas. I think also, in some ways, the Americans are more likeable than the English. But I really like San Francisco. I'm actually contemplating moving to San Fran.. If I can take...you know, we can all move over there. I really like New York, for completely opposite reasons. But i think if I had to stay anywhere, I'd say I'd be best in San Francisco. I think I'd probably go out of my mind in New York very fast.

Has a tendency to grate a little bit.
Well, it's not the most relaxing of ambiances.

It seems like most of your songs have a story.
Which Ones?

"Only The Stones Remain".
"Only The Stones Remain" is about a bunch of druids who organize a festival in a ring of standing stones. Some people believe that the standing stones have electromagnetic properties that actually alter people's force fields when they go in there. And some people believe they were erected so that when a nuclear bomb goes off, they will actually be a safe place to stand. And, the druids are just having a...they have a sacrifice, and things like that. They sacrifice rams. They have straightforward sex. People menstruate over the stones. People ejac-- is this for radio? All right, yeah. People ejaculate over the stones. Sperm and jism, and all the rest of it. And a fine time is had by all, you know? It's young people with a high...high sperm count. And blood temperature, and things like that.

Is that your kind of party?
Oh yes. Definitely mine, you know? The only one I'd ever go to. And the druids go off in a time capsule, and the young soldiers and maidens and sausage dogs that have been involved in the party all wither and die. And the druids go into the far future and start a Rock band, and go back to the place where they held this wild party years and years before. And...but they've got time-lag, because they've shot through 3,000 years in about a half-hour, and therefore they haven't spiritually caught up with themselves. You know, they're physically far ahead in time, but their souls are way back. And they become incredibly sad at the sight of all this, and the fact that, sort of, bacchanalia they've summoned up...just seems wasteful to them. And they become very, very wise. And they go back to their own time again, and resolve never to use a time machine again, and to work only towards peace and greater understanding. And naturally nothing more is heard from them.

You seem to be obsessed with time and time warps, and moving through different eras.
Yeah. When I was a kid, the only ambition I ever had was to build a time machine. And I had no talent for science, at school. And I also saw that no talented scientist had yet devised a time machine. And something about Einstein...you could arrive somewhere before you started. But everyone says you can't travel faster than light. So, it was pretty obvious that I wasn't going to get anywhere. So I became very much a fatalist after that. I've been...I was cynical...I was abusive to my girlfriends as a teenager. Sadistic towards women. Embittered and cynical beyond my years. A monstrous egotist. I coulnd't stand to be in a room where I wasn't the center of attention. All that, sort of, you know, training grounds for a personality collapse, really. Or become a Rock star, and...

And both happened.
[laughs] Yes, yes. No...I suppose...no, well what happened was, instead of anything, I just, sort of, grew up to become the wonderful thing that I am now. I can't remember what...oh, I see...yeah, this is because I couldn't build a time machine. And I see it's coming to terms with this increcible disappointment in life. Nothing else really mattered, you know? So, I mean, I just wander around and play the Blues, really. But it made me into an old man very young. I didn't have a wild time. I was defensive, and physically I've always been very cautious. I never played football. I never rugger-tackled my father, you know? I never threw the kids into the air (or anything like that). I mean, I just talk instead.

If you had built one, what would be the first era you would visit?
[laughs] Wait 'til they meet and watch myself be conceived. Stop them at the last moment. No, no. I'd not do that. I'd check out the immediate past. And then I think I'd go into...say, 1,000 years into the future, or soemwhere quite along to the point where if your civilization collapsed and died a new one could have sprung up, and so it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't see any traces of the 20th Century, so I wouldn't know how our story ended. And then I'd get a bit nearer to the 20th Century, and I'd probably wind up tracking myself down. I'd step into the street and shoot myself. There's no way of telling.

"(I Wanna Be An) Anglepoise Lamp"?
I wrote that after coming back from Bedford, which is quite a dull place in the middle of England. With a man, you're going to be a woman someday -- which is a theme I've generally gone on about. And I grew more desperate. It started with the man turning into a woman, and then I just wanted to be an anglepoise lamp. I mean, I think it comes from a...either it's just malicious boredom -- that you want to be somebody else -- or it's insecurity. Or it's just natural curiosity. I mean, that's my other ambition: to be someone else at the same time as me. To swap minds with somebody for half-an-hour. To know what it's like to be a woman (and things like that). I'd really like to know -- and I never will.

You never know.
I doubt it! I mean, I don't...I'd...probably swapping minds with someone would have such a cataclysmic affect because thereafter you'd have been each other, and you'd have a really weird relationship. You'd both be the same person. But you can sometimes achieve that with a friend...you know, it's never total. It's dealing with the individual, and the individual is cut off, and therefore becomes psychotic. Has to defend itself. Has to put up barriers. If humanity...if we were telepathic, we'd have no problem. Like the Chinese, we'd just be this mass with one thought, which is how I think we're going to eventually evolve. One sex, and one thought. When god puts his brain back together again.

That's a depressing idea: everyone with one thought.
Might be a lovely thought! [laughs] Might be a beautiful thought. There's no reason why simplicity shouldn't be the result of evolution. Why should things get more complex? Why shouldn't they get more simple? Everything started from a single cell. We've now got really complicated. Perhaps we'll work our way back to a single cell.

Being a simpleton, I'm very near the top of the heap!
You are? What, near to being a single cell?

Yeah!
Are you? Is that what you're going to do in June? [laughs] When you've left school?

I have no idea.
Good grief. A mono-cellular creature. God. Well, send us a postcard.

Oh, one last story? Oh, we can skip it.
You want me to say exactly this: Hello, this is Robyn Hitchcock, and I'll be of an MusicView tonight of WNYU-FM of? Okay, take three. Hello, this is of Robyn Hitchcock, and of Robyn Hitchcock you're listening to WNYU-FM. From New York's best new music, sounds coming out all the time. Twenty-four hours, bringing it directly from you to my head, bro'. Let's just wise up. Song.

Hello, this is Robyn Hitchcock, of Robyn Hitchcock, and you're listening to WNYU-FM, New York's best music. You can have just about anything anytime you want to, anyplace in New York: the place where you can eat (or drive around) all night, or stay in a tiny little room crying to yourself. It doesn't bother me at all, 'cause I'm not there. Okay, but that was it. Make sure you're still listening, 'cause it's still going on.



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